Here are some tips for spotting a potential ghost, and what you can do if it happens to you.
We've all been there, and nothing is more frustrating or confusing. You meet someone, you hit it off, you exchange numbers, go on several great dates and things seem to be moving full speed ahead . . . and then, suddenly, he starts to text less frequently, gets really "busy" and can't see you, or fully disappears into thin air.
What does it mean? Simply put, they are in the process of ghosting you or you have already been fully ghosted. But why do men ghost? How do you spot a potential ghost? And what can you do if you've been ghosted? Here is some of the insight I gained when I and my friends were single and dating in Chicago, New York, DC, and Los Angeles. Read on to find out!
Why Men Ghost
There are lots of reasons why men ghosts. Maybe he's not ready for a serious relationship. Maybe he's been burned in the past and is afraid of getting hurt again. Maybe he met someone else. Maybe he's just plain lazy and didn't feel like putting in the effort to keep things going. Maybe his dog ate his phone. Maybe . . . WHATEVER! Seriously, whatever the reason, it almost always has everything to do with him and not with you. So don't take it personally!
How to Spot a Potential Ghost
1. He's Inconsistent
If a guy is interested in you, he's going to make it known. He'll text you back in a timely manner, he'll call when he says he will, and he'll want to see you on a regular basis. If he's being hot one minute and cold the next, it's a major red flag that he's not really interested and he's probably just leading you on.
2. He disappears for days or weeks at a time with no explanation
We all get busy, but if a guy is interested in you, he'll find a way to let you know that he's thinking of you even when he's swamped at work or taking care of personal matters. If he just up and disappears for days or weeks with no explanation, it's likely that he's not as invested in the relationship as you are and that he doesn't see it going anywhere long-term. Sorry, girl! Time to move on.
3. His texts are short and unimaginative
If a guy is really interested in you, he'll go out of his way to keep the conversation going. He'll ask you questions about your day, he'll make plans with you for the future, and he'll go above and beyond to keep things fresh and exciting. If his texts are short and unimaginative, it's because he doesn't really care about getting to know you. Next!
What To Do If You've Been Ghosted
If you've been ghosted, the best thing you can do is move on. Don't try to figure out what went wrong or where things went off the rails—chances are good that you'll never really know anyway. And even if you did, it wouldn't change anything. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and put yourself back out there. Sooner or later, you'll find someone who appreciates you for exactly who you are!
With All That Said . . .
Being ghosted sucks—there's no two ways about it. But even though it doesn't feel like it at the time, being ghosted is actually a pretty common occurrence and you dodged a bullet with that guy. So, if it happens to you, don't take it personally and be thankful that it never got too serious.