As mothers, we all are familiar with the feeling of "Mom Guilt" for one reason or another. These 4 tips can help with dealing with the guilt and with showing yourself more grace.
Over this past weekend, I decided to treat myself by having a make up artist come to my house to do my make up for a charity event I was attending. She too was a mom with three-year old and two-year old sons. Through conversation the topic of Mom Guilt arose, and she shared that even going out without her kids with her husband, family, or friends caused feelings of guilt.
As mothers, we all are familiar with the feeling of Mom Guilt for one reason or another. Whether it's feeling like we haven't done enough for our kids or worrying that we have not taught them all the right things, it can be hard to show ourselves grace in these moments. But here's the thing: we are all in the same boat! Nobody has to strive for perfection, and as it turns out, this might be one of the best lessons we can teach our kids.
It is important to remind ourselves that even in the moments that we do not feel like it, we are doing our best. The love we show our children is the most important gift we can give to them. It is also essential to take time for ourselves to recharge, prevent burnout, and give ourselves the necessary mental breaks.
With this understanding in mind, here are four tips which might help when you start to feel any kind of Mom Guilt:
Don’t Compare Yourself to Other Moms
When it comes to Mom Guilt, let's face it - social media makes us a little cray cray. Instagram and Facebook can make us feel like everyone around us has their lives figured out perfectly, when in reality no one has it all together. I repeat . . . no one has it all figured out!
Actually believing that perception of perfection can be detrimental to our self-esteem as there will always be someone who appears better off than you in any given situation. Just focus on your own journey as a mother and celebrate your successes with your family!
Do Your Best and Let Go of “Would Have / Should Haves"
It is important to do your best and let go of “would have / should haves” when striving to overcome Mom Guilt because focusing on what could have or should have been done differently can be a fruitless endeavour. We are all human, mistakes are part of the process, and at the end of the day you can only do your best given the knowledge and resources available to you.
It is essential for our mental health that we strive for progress rather than perfection in order to allow ourselves grace when we make mistakes and be more present for the moments that matter.
Remember to Exercise Self-Care
Taking care of yourself is an important part of managing Mom Guilt because it helps you to remain balanced and calm. Being able to have some time for yourself – even if it's just a few moments – can help diminish those feelings of guilt.
Taking care of your mental and physical health can also lower stress levels, which in turn could lead to more patience when dealing with our children. Self-care does not mean being selfish; it means taking the time to nurture yourself, so you are better equipped to take care of others. If we don't give ourselves the same level of compassion and understanding that we give our kids, we are not fully teaching them what it means to be human.
So take a moment each day or once a week to focus on self-care and how it can benefit your overall wellbeing.
Trust that Your Love is the Most Important Gift
As a mom, I know that the Mom Guilt is real. It seems like no matter what we do, we can't escape it—we never feel we are doing enough! But perhaps our biggest weapon in combating this guilt is to remember that the most important thing we can give our children is love.
No matter how much money or time we spend on them, nothing compares to showing our kids unconditional love and support. Our love will create strong bonds with them for life while also helping any mom guilt we have fade away!
Conclusion
Mom guilt is real and it can hold us back from enjoying the best moments of motherhood. Do your best not to compare yourself to other moms; instead, focus on showing your child unconditional love and giving yourself grace. And don't forget, you are doing your best and that is enough! You've got this Mama!