As Black women, we need to use the word "help" more. We can't do it all. We can't always be Superwoman!
As a mother, one of the first words I taught my son was the word "help." I wanted him to know that I was there for him when he needed assistance, that he was never alone, and to alleviate his frustration when he couldn't do something on his own.
As Black women, we need to use the word "help" more. We can't do it all. Black women are often seen as strong and independent, which is true, but that doesn't mean we don't need assistance from time to time. We can't always be Superwoman!
I am learning that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but of strength. It shows that we are aware of our limitations and that we are willing to seek out the help we need to achieve our goals. So, next time you're feeling overwhelmed, remember to ask for help. You'll be surprised at how much lighter your load will feel.
Here are a few tips on how to ask and receive help:
1. Be Honest with Yourself About What You Need Help With
Asking for help can be tough, especially if you're used to being independent. But sometimes we all need a little assistance. And that's okay! The important thing is to be honest with yourself about what you need help with.
Take a moment to reflect on what kind of help you truly need. Do you need someone to pick up the slack at work? Do you need a shoulder to cry on? Or do you just need someone to vent to? Once you've identified what you need, it will be easier to ask for (and receive) the help you deserve. So don't be afraid to reach out - your community is here for you.
2. Talk to the People You Trust About Your Struggles and Ask Them for Advice
One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was to talk to people I trust about my struggles. This might seem like a no-brainer, but it's amazing how often we bottle up our problems and try to deal with them on our own. Not only is this unhealthy, but it can also lead to us feeling isolated and alone.
When we reach out to others for help, we not only have the opportunity to get some much-needed support, but we can also gain invaluable insights into how to best deal with our challenges. So next time you're feeling overwhelmed, don't be afraid to reach out to your friends and family for help. You might be surprised at just how helpful they can be.
3. Don't be Afraid to be Specific
When you ask for help, be specific about what you need. As obvious as this may seem, you'd be surprised how often people ask for help without being specific. As a result, they end up getting a lot of advice that they don't really need, or worse, they don't get the help they actually need. Don't be afraid to ask questions or give details.
This will also prevent any misunderstandings and ensure that the person you're asking can actually assist you. For example, instead of saying "I need help," try "Can you please help me with the dishes?" or "I could really use some help with laundry today."
The more specific you are, the more likely it is that you'll get the help you need. And who knows, you might even find that asking for help is a lot easier than you thought it would be.
4. Don't be Afraid to Accept Help When It's Offered – Even if You Don't Think You Need It
When it comes to help, I'm a bit of a prideful person. I like to think that I can handle everything on my own and that I don't need assistance from anyone. There have been times when help has been offered and, for one reason or another, I haven't accepted it. In retrospect, I realize that was a mistake.
Just because someone offers to help doesn't mean they think you're incapable – it's just a gesture of goodwill. And, if you're honest with yourself, there's nothing wrong with admitting that you could use a little assistance from time to time. So, next time someone offers to help you out, don't be afraid to accept their offer.
5. It is Important to Remember That Not Everyone is Going to be Willing or Able to Help
Whether you're struggling with a personal issue, or you need help with a task, it's important to remember that not everyone is going to be willing or able to help, and that's okay. Just because someone isn't able or willing to help you doesn't mean they don't care about you. They may have their own problems to deal with or they may not have the skills or knowledge to be of assistance.
Don't take it personally if someone says no - just move on and ask someone else. Ultimately, what's important is that you get the help you need. You don't have to rely on just one person for help - if there are multiple people who you think could be of assistance, don't hesitate to reach out to all of them. The more people you have by your side, the better equipped you'll be to handle whatever challenges come your way.
6. Be Grateful for the Help You Receive
Always remember to say thank you when someone helps you out! A simple "thank you" goes a long way in showing your appreciation and ensuring that people will be receptive to helping you or even others out in the future. You can even follow up with a small token of appreciation, like a homemade meal or a jar of cookies, or even a simple thank you card.
Even if the person you've asked for help isn't able to give you exactly what you need, express your gratitude for their willingness to try. Remember, everyone is doing the best they can with what they have, and sometimes that's all we can ask for.
7. Don’t Hesitate to Ask for Professional Help
If you're struggling with something serious, don't hesitate to seek professional assistance! There's no shame in admitting that you need extra support, and there are plenty of qualified experts out there who can help you through whatever challenges you may be facing—from therapy and counseling services to financial advisors and more.
The Wrap Up
It is important to remember that asking for help should not be seen as a sign of weakness. Asking for help can be incredibly empowering — it means acknowledging our own needs and realizing we are worthy of support. It means recognizing that the only way we will get through the obstacles in life is by having the courage to reach out and ask for assistance from those who can aid us in our journey.
Asking for help does not have to be limited to receiving physical aid; simply listening ears or wise words can often offer more comfort than anything tangible. Ultimately, having access to support is invaluable, whether it comes in the form of tangible items or emotional attachments.
Remember - you are never alone, and there are individuals willing to lend a helping hand if you just take the first step and ask.